So, according to shapeshifting political opportunist John kNeely Knennedy he was one miserable dude back in 2004 when he endorsed John Kerry for President. And now, courtesy of an exclusive video received by us here at Kennedy for Whatever, you now have your chance to see first hand just how miserable John was. Please take a moment to watch and feel the pain of a man who was FORCED to stand right behind John Kerry and FORCED to applaud enthusiastically to his speech and FORCED to do it right there on TV. Boy, the misery just flies off the screen, don’t it?
So the John kNeely Knennedy campaign, never ones to quibble over pesky things like facts, truth and reality are at it again. A few months ago, in an effort to create an issue, any issue in his race for Senate John conjured up this clever little debate clock to countdown until big John got his crack at Mary Landrieu in an actual debate.
Fine and dandy by us since of course all’s fair in love, war and clocks for that matter. And of course, we here at Kennedy for Whatever, in adherence to the age old political axiom that the best response to a clock is a counter clock, hosted a little clock of our own asking when the ole’ party switcher would return that $5,000 check from MoveOn.org that he took waaay back in 2004 when he ran as a liberal Democrat. And with that we declared, “let the tick off begin!!” (see clock right)
But now things have gotten a little well, confusing. For while of course John has yet to return that MoveOn mullah and thus our clock keeps right on a ticking into the future, there is a little problem with the Knennedy clock. For as most of us know, John got his clock, well, cleaned just this past Monday October 6th in Baton Rouge at what most professionals and layman alike would agree was a debate. It is our belief that just because John didn’t show up (metaphorically speaking) at the debate should have no impact on the clock status and the clock removal. And yet, as you can clearly see for yourself, there that clock goes. Tick, tick tick.
It was even so confusing that the Times-Picayune’s Gracie award creator Stephanie Grace went so far as to even ask the Knennedy campaign if they intended to remove the debate clock now that the candidates have debated. The response from Knennedy campaign spokesman Leo Alcivar? In a word, No.
Now we understand that the Knennedy campaign has not exactly used its time wisely. But surely they are aware of the Confucius saying “a cheap political stunt clock does not more time make.” Unless of course this is a magic clock. (Which would explain the Knennedy campaign’s sort of Shangri La approach to the Senate race).
But with all that said, we here at KFW have debated (ha ha) whether we should launch yet another clock counting down when the Knennedy campaign will remove their debate campaign clock from its website. But with only 26 days left to go in the race, such a move could spiral into a clock war that we simply do not have the time for. So instead we figured we’d provide John, Leo and Co. with a little musical lament that, with the clock ticking down on their Nov. 4th fortunes, can stick in their heads until such time as their time is up.
State Treasurer, shapeshifter and all around fiscal nightmare John kNeely Knennedy has wasted a lot of taxpayer money in his day (if you don’t believe us, just ask the National Republican Senatorial Committee) but the $4 million that John, as chairman of the state bond commission, watched go down the tubes on the so-called Football Network might just rank up there as the ‘72 Dolphins of monetary ineptitude.
We here at KFW are pleased to bring you now, for the very first time, the last known broadcast of that adventure in taxpayer waste otherwise known as The (John kNeely Knennedy) Football Network.
For your viewing pleasure, the intrepid crew here at KFW has managed to acquire the first draft of everyone’s favorite shapeshifting and AWOL political opportunist John kNeely Knennedy’s latest television commercial. It appears that in between digging up an old applause track from an “All in the Family” rerun to compensate for the lack of hands at his one try at an actually rally back in July, someone on the crack Knennedy team must have realized that some of the footage here didn’t exactly manage to make people forget John’s checkered past. Fortunately they were able to round up some b-roll footage of an actual campaign in time to fill in for the scenes they didn’t want you to see.
A year ago to the day that everyone’s favorite shapeshifting, principle chucking and all around uber opportunist John kNeely Kennedy switched parties an old political pal and endorsee still misses his friend.
